As a mother, I'm learning as I go. I'm sure most moms would say the same. My boys are very high energy and intelligent children who are also very sensitive and the day can easily go from the best ever to they just want to curl up and die. This swing is something I've been dealing with since Ryan was a little over a year old. At first I thought it was him and he was just a dramatic little fella but then his brother came along a few years later and exhibited the same drama and so then my concern was me. Am I causing this in some way?
When Ryan started school, he was sent to the office often for acting out and losing his temper. When he was asked about it, he really couldn't explain what had happened and would tell us that he just "lost control". As each school year came and went, his trips to the office tapered off but never went away completely. We were focused on positive encouragement and counting the weeks in between visits. Even when the vice prinicple would call me with an issue, she'd always say how bright and sweet he is and ask where he's learning his emotional behavior. Since I don't go around pushing people over, I would tell her I really didn't know.
Last spring I decided to get Noah I.Q. tested and tested into the gifted and talented program. During the testing process, I made some contacts that have changed the way I look at my boys. His testing showed that he was off the charts and I know that his brother is the same way. I also learned that this comes with a special set of challenges, and the drama is them and not me.
There have been several studies that show that gifted children have a higher rate of exhibiting mental health problems during their lives. I like this article. The problem I've run into my whole parenting life is that I have very few people I can go to and ask questions. If I go around and tell someone my sons are gifted and emotional, the response is something along the lines of 'your kids are smart...boo hoo'. But, if you spend a day in my house, you'd see it is a big deal and the way we have to parent is markedly different from our family members and friends. We have to word things without loopholes and be aware of their emotional states since there can be a breakdown at any time (and any place...ask me about Target some day). My main problem is my boys seem to have no peers. They play well with other kids but have trouble connecting on a deep level, which leads to destructive play. At school Ryan goes from having a best friend that he wants to see every day to getting in a fight with his new friend and saying his friend hates him and calls him names.
My new friends and amazing contacts helped me find some information since most parenting advice is for children who don't share the specific challenges we face. Seng is my favorite and I look to it for articles and resources when things get really out of hand, I read the articles and realize that I'm not alone. This article is one of my favorites since it hits the issue dead on for me.
I wanted to write this out not to brag my kids up, but to share something that affects my day to day.
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